Ego In Check
by Insanely-Yours96
Summary: A fun-loving Lily Evans with a dark past transfers from Beauxbatons to Hogwarts after Christmas Break sixth year and immediatley catches the fancy of James Potter. Rated M for dark themes: physical/emotional abuse, rape and war.


**CHAPTER ONE**  
Tuesday, January 03

…

He'd never seen her before.

If he had, James would certainly have remembered. She wasn't exactly easy to miss, after all. Her hair looked like fire, a bright, angry red naturally highlighted with orange and crimson streaks. From across the common room, he couldn't quite make out her eyes, but they seemed to be squished in concentration as she studied a particularly large book that he vaguely recognized from Remus' collection – it appeared she was in the Ancient Runes class, as well. But, no, that couldn't be, because only seven people were taking that this year and Moony had never mentioned her.

And how was she in the Gryffindor common room, anyway? As a sixth year Quidditch star, James Potter took pride in the fact that he had snogged most all of the fifth, sixth and seventh year girls the school had to offer, and he definitely hadn't missed one of his own Gryffindor's.

"Going to score a snog with the new bird, are you, Prongsie?" Sirius asked from his spot by the fire, tossing an old battered Quidditch Weekly issue to the floor.

"New bird?" James asked, wondering how he could've missed that; it was just after winter break and his family and Sirius had gone to the countryside for the two weeks. If Sirius knew whoever she was, he should have, too.

"Yeah," he reported lazily, sparing her a glance. "—she just came in over break, apparently all the way from Beauxbatons, and the hat shoved her in here with us. Lucky, eh?"

James smirked. "Definitely."

"See you at lunch, then," Sirius called to his retreating best mate, who merely waved a hand in response.

James Potter strutted across the common room over to where the mysterious new girl sat alone, nibbling on the end of a quill thoughtfully as she read something. The closer he got, the more James liked what he was seeing; she had a small, dainty nose, sexy curls and endearing ink stains around her mouth from where the quill had accidently rubbed off. Though her sweater was a bit too bulky to make out what he was sure was an exquisite figure, he'd take care of it soon.

He plopped down onto the couch next to her uninvited, arms stretching out along the back of it and face falling easily into the smirk he knew girls couldn't resist.

She looked up, albeit reluctantly, and his heart skipped a beat. Her eyes are a brilliant green with jagged streaks of gold and brown radiating from the pupils, and she was giving him a small, inquisitively smile. "Yes?"

It took him an embarrassingly long moment to remember the brilliant line he'd come up with on his way over to her.

"So, you're new?" That had definitely not been it.

An eyebrow rose and her smile turned indulgent. She said, in a teasingly sarcastic (and unaccented) tone, "You should be a detective."

He frowned, just a bit, before regaining his self-assured smirk. "You should tell me your name."

It hadn't been a question, and she had noticed. Her lips downturned slightly, but she obliged. "Lily Evans."

"James Potter." He held out his hand, but instead of the seemingly harmless shake she'd expected, he grasped her hand and brought it to his lips in a short kiss, hazel eyes never leaving her (slightly astonished) green ones. "—and the pleasure is all mine."

She snorted in a very unladylike manner before pulling her hand away from his grip hastily. "Pleasure," she grumbled.

Playing hard to get, James wondered as Lily turned back to the book, ignoring him. His smirk returned. He had always liked a challenge.

"Ahem." She turned to him again; her lips still downturned, her eyes still half on the book.

"Did you need something? I'm a little busy." James glanced at the uninteresting book.

"I was going to offer to escort you to lunch, but if you're too busy…"

She gave him a faint smile. "I am, actually. I've already made plans with some mates and I want to get this essay done first."

His eyebrows furrowed. "Seriously?"

She gave him a confused sort of glance. "Yes, seriously."

"Okay, then… guess I'll see you later?" He watched her apprehensively.

She turned back to the book. "Guess so."

James stood and headed back towards Sirius, who was leafing through what he knew to be a porno magazine disguised as the Daily Prophet.

"Padfoot," he said, tone confused, as he slid into the seat across from Sirius. "I think she just blew me off."

Sirius looked up with a quirked eyebrow. "Seriously?"

At James' nod, he whistled. "Guess she's fair game, then, Prongsie. I'm sure I'm more her type."

James snorted. "If her type is flea-ridden pups."

Sirius held a hand to his heart dramatically. "You wound me, Thongs."

They laughed.

…

"Lily!" A fellow sixth-year by the name of Dorcas Meadowes called, leading Emmeline Vance and Marlene McKinnon towards the sofa Lily sat studying on. Looking up, cloudy green eyes brightened and Lily smiled beatifically at her new roommates.

"You ready for lunch?" Emmeline asked, pushing her long dark hair over her shoulder.

"Yeah," Lily said, throwing the large tome into her bag and flicking her wand at it.

"Protection charm," she said sheepishly to Marlene's inquisitive look. "Just an old habit from fifth year – someone was going around, raiding bags for galleons."

Dorcas raised an eyebrow. "And mum wanted me to go _there_," she scoffed. "Who keeps their money in a bag, anyway?"

Lily grinned and shrugged, following Marlene as she led them towards the Fat Lady. "I guess you've never seen the uniforms. No pockets; bloody unreliable, too. They're silk and tear real easy; had to put a couple of charms on mine to keep them in good shape."

Emmeline sighed longingly. "Lucky. Charms is my worse subject."

Marlene snorted. "She can't even do the simple hair and makeup ones."

Dorcas laughed. "Yeah, remember fourth year when she caught her hair on fire and we had to get Flitwick to undo all of it?"

"Oh, shove it." Emmeline complained, pushing Dorcas too hard and almost making her fall down two flights of stairs. "Oh, sorry, Doe."

Dorcas shrugged, unconcerned. "Nearly fell a thousand times first year, anyway."

"I've already fallen twice," Lily informed, laughing at herself and their incredulous looks. "I'm a clutz, and I'm not exactly used to moving staircases."

Marlene smiled gleefully. "Oh, yeah, muggleborn, right? You've got to come over Easter break—Mum'll hate you!"

They entered the Great Hall, still mostly empty as it was only eleven-forty, and went to the end of the table to sit.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "And that is a good thing, how?"

Dorcas smirked, grabbing a sandwich and filling her glass with pumpkin juice. "Oh, Marley's mum is a bloody pureblood fanatic. I'm pure, so she likes me well enough, but since Em's only half she is pretty rude when she comes 'round. We all like to sort of mess with her since that blood nonsense is a load of rubbish, so you'd be perfect."

"I'm not sure I want to go somewhere I'm hated," Lily laughed.

Marlene pouted. "Oh, c'mon, we'd all be there! We always go to my place for Easter, it'll be fun!"

"Yeah, you've gotta come, Lily!" Emmeline declared, taking a huge bite of her peanut butter and jelly.

Lily sighed. "Well, I guess that's better than the alternative. I'm supposed to meet my sister's fiancés parents at Easter, and I definitely _don't_ want to do that… come to think of it, Petunia probably doesn't want me to do that, either."

All the girls made a face, as they'd found out all about Petunia and her attitude towards magic the night before when they had stayed up late in an attempt to get to know Lily.

"Hey, Red." Emmeline choked on her sandwich, Marlene jumped a mile high and Lily nearly spilled her pumpkin juice in surprise as Sirius Black suddenly popped up behind them and slid into the empty seat across from Lily. Dorcas, the only one who'd seen him coming, sighed in exasperation and thumped Emmeline's back a few times.

"—trying to bloody kill me, Black, you arsehat!" Emmeline gasped out after chugging some pumpkin juice, looking murderous.

"Red?" Marlene asked with a quirked eyebrow.

Lily made a face. "Please don't say you were calling _me_ that."

Sirius winked at Emmeline and shot Lily what he was sure was his most charming grin. "I sure was, Red."

Lily's eye twitched. "You shouldn't call me that, I assure you."

Sirius blinked, then grinned, astonished that he had picked up on something to irritate somebody so quickly. "Why not, Red?"

Under the table, Lily slid her wand from its holster and aimed it at Sirius. Calmly, she said, "That's why."

Sirius' eyebrows furrowed in confusion as all the girls burst out laughing and Dorcas pulled a compact mirror from her bag, handing it to him. Sirius looked into it, and then let out a shrill, girlish scream.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?"

Sirius' hair—(his favorite feature)—was now a bright orange-red with maroon polka dots and tied up to the sides of his head in pigtails with clashing hot pink rubber bands. But it wasn't only his precious hair—oh, no—his robes had been transfigured into a green muggle ballroom gown and his shoes to red three-inch pumps. Not to mention the makeup charm; black eyeliner, blue lipstick, bright pink blush and mascara.

"Oh, nothing much, just a few charms and some transfiguration." Lily said half-heartedly, taking a casual bite of her turkey and ham sandwich. Her easy-going attitude set the girls into another peel of laughter, and Sirius just stared at her, gaping.

"You've got to be kidding me." Lily's eyes shone with mirth as she looked back up to him.

"I'm Lily Evans, nice to meet you, Mister…"

"Your name is Sirius Black," Marlene informed after a long moment of Sirius' gaping and failing to respond.

Sirius' eye twitched. "I'll change you back, of course." Lily promised with a charming smile. "As long as you remember my name." She paused and feigned thoughtfulness. "What was it, again?"

Sirius' teeth ground. "Evans…"

Lily smiled. "That's it!"

With a flick of her wand, Sirius once again looked like himself, though not nearly as happy as before.

"I think I love you, Lily," Emmeline said with a laugh, patting Lily on the shoulder. Sirius scowled.

"Guess she doesn't like being called 'Red', mate," a half-laughing voice said, and Lily turned to see James Potter and two boys she had yet to meet watching her, amused.

Lily, still smiling, nodded in agreement.

"Oi, Lily, that's them." Marlene murmured, elbowing her side to get her attention.

Lily turned to her, confused, and rubbed her side. "That's _who_?"

"We're who?" James' voice asked from behind her.

"The Marauders." Marlene told, and sighed in exasperation and Lily's confused expression. "We mentioned them last night a few times, right? Y'know, the guys with the pranks and the looks and whatnot."

Sirius grinned, and, sounding utterly gleeful, said "Hear that, Prongsie, the looks, _the_ _looks_."

Lily had the typical 'Oh' expression on her face, and turned to look them all over. "Huh."

"Guess our reputation exceeds us," James said with a smirk.

Lily smiled, ignoring James, and turned to address the girls. "Well, guess this one at least got a little taste of his own medicine."

Sirius frowned as she gestured towards him.

"What is that supposed to mean?" asked James, going over to Sirius' side of the table to sit by him. The two other Marauders followed in suit.

Lily's eyebrow rose and she seemed to look down upon him, though she was quite a bit shorter. "Pranksters, right? It means I gave Black a taste of his own medicine."

Her expression seemed to darken for a moment. "I don't like people who pick on others, after all."

Dorcas laughed beside her. "Bloody right you don't."

There was a short moment of silence, for the Marauders couldn't deny the claim that they picked on others (without lying) and the girls were all eating.

"So, we haven't met." Lily addressed the other two nameless Marauders. "Lily Evans."

The sandy-haired boy—thin, lean, with pale scars marring his face and kind, chocolate brown eyes—looked at her thoughtfully for a moment before introducing himself. "Remus Lupin."

She smiled. "Ah. Heard you were the nice one; guess I've got to judge that for myself, though." He smiled sheepishly and they shook hands briefly.

Lily turned to the other boy—fidgety, nervous blue eyes, stocky and a face that somehow resembled a mouse—a smile still on her face as she waited for him to introduce himself. "P-Peter Pettigrew."

"I love your eyes, Peter. Blue really suits you." She complimented, causing him to fidget all the more and blush. Beside him, James scowled and Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

There was another short silence.

"Soooooo…"

They waited. Dorcas blinked. "So, what, Em?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. 'm a little bored."

Marlene smirked. "Want to do something crazy?"

"Yes!"

"Not you, Black."

"It's still a yes."

Lily smiled, and leaned over to Marlene, whispering something in her ear. Marlene's eyes widened and she smiled deviously.

"Woah, Lily, that is a lot better than what I've been thinking!" Lily smirked. "Why haven't you been around… like… forever."

"What is it?" Sirius demanded loudly. "I want to do it!"

"Calm down, Padfoot, of course we're invited. Right, Evans?"

"Wrong, Potter." All the girls laughed. James' mouth dropped in surprise, and Remus and Sirius even chucked a bit.

"Y'know, Evans, I think I may like you." Sirius said seriously.

"Y'know, Black." Lily said, leaning towards him with a smile. "Vous êtes la dernière personne sur terre, je voudrais jamais. L'obternir?"

(You are the last person on earth I would ever like. Got it?)

Sirius pouted, Marlene laughed and James smirked. Everybody else looked confused. "Pourquoi voulez-vous dire que, belle femme?"

(Why would you say that, beautiful woman?)

"Parce que vous m'a appelé 'rouge', idiot."

(Because you called me 'Red', idiot.)

"Ow," Sirius said, clutching his chest with one hand and grasping Remus' shoulder with the other. "Never," he cried out dramatically, faking a sob. "Call a beautiful woman 'Red'."

He 'dropped dead', face falling into a well-placed bowl of pudding.

"Rest in peace," Remus said monotonously. Everyone else laughed as Sirius sat up quickly and spluttered, wiping the pudding from his face and hair, scowling all the while.

…

"Wait, why are we doing this, again?" Emmeline asked, clearly nervous. "Y'know, when I said I was bored, I didn't mean _this_ bored."

Lily grinned and turned to look at her. "Calm down, Em, I've done this a thousand times. Not off the roof, mind you, but I'm sure it'll be all the same with the protection charms me and Doe put on 'em."

Dorcas gave a quick, stiff nod from her place behind Marlene. "Y-yeah. I'm sure it'll be fine. They've both been sledding before, right, Lils? Marley?"

Marlene hesitated before quickly nodding. "R-right. Sure have. Dozens of time!"

Emmeline groaned. "We're doomed!"

The four girls were currently on one of the third floor Hogwarts roofs, sitting in pairs of two on sleds that they had transfigured from wooden logs outside of Hagrid's cabin. Lily and Marlene were in front, Dorcas and Emmeline in back.

Dorcas and Lily had worked five straight minutes putting every protective charm they could think of on the sleds to make sure they were indestructible and would glide off the roofs at an angle rather than falling straight down. They'd specifically chosen this roof position, as it led down to a steep hill covered in five inches of snow all around.

It would be fun. It would be perfect. It would be epic.

Merlin's beard, it would be terrifying.

Below, unbeknownst to the girls, four boys watched them from under a too-small invisibility cloak.

"Wait, Padfoot, they aren't actually going to jump, are they?"

Sirius stared up at them, wide-eyed. "In that contraption? What the bloody hell is that, anyway?"

Remus looked at them as if they were mad. "Seriously? You guys have never been sledding?"

"Sled—what? What's he talking about, Prongsie?"

"Dunno, Padfoot, think he's going a bit mad."

Sirius nodded. "Barmy, this one. Especially 'round his time of month."

They laughed; Remus rolled his eyes and hit them both upside the head. "You guys are daft. A sled's just a muggle piece of wood that you use to slide down the hill when it's snowing."

"But that's the roof," Peter pointed out, eyes wide.

Remus hesitated. "Yeah. I'm guessing they've got charms, or something. If not, they're as good as dead."

Sirius made a face and posed, hand on hip, arm straight out and pointed heavenward. "And who are the famed Marauders to let four fair maidens die? Come, let us rescue the—"

"Um, Padfoot, it's a bit late for that."

They all looked up as both of the sleds flew from the roof, going down through the air as if it was a ramp, straight towards the snowy hill. The excited and terrified screams of the girls echoed around them as they hit the top of the hill and slid several feet. They seemed to stop for a moment at the tip of the hill before gravity caught up with them and they fell, screaming their lungs out all the way down.

They didn't come to a stop until they reached the Black Lake, and even then they slid a good five feet over the top of the iced surface.

"That was…" Emmeline's eyes shone brightly. "Awesome! Let's do it again! Merlin, c'mon, hurry up, you guys, let's do it again!"

Emmeline stood, bouncing around and pulling each of them up, eyes wide, hyperactive and trembling. Lily, Dorcas and Marlene shared a look.

"Uh, might want to just slow it down, Em…" Dorcas suggested hesitantly.

"Slow down? Why? Why would I slow down? This was so fun, guys." Her smile was too-big and bordering creepy.

"If you don't slow down, once the adrenalines gone you'll—" Emmeline fell unceremoniously to the ground, face burying itself into the snow. "lose conscious."

They all stared at her limp body for a short moment before bursting out laughing.

"Woah, is she really dead?" a voice demanded to know. "I thought you were kidding, Moony, but she isn't moving and—Merlin, why are they _laughing_?"

The girls turned to find the Marauders staring, Sirius making odd gestures and looking at them as if they were insane. "Birds are mad, Prongsie, they just killed Vance and they're _laughing_ like its bloody Christmas!"

"Killed Em?" Marlene gasped, clutching her sides and laughing some more. "_Kill_ Em? Ahahaha, Black is such an idiot."

"Hey!" Sirius protested indignantly. "I am _not_ an idiot."

He sniffed, as if offended. Remus, beside him, nodded importantly. "He's right."

Sirius gave him a proud sort of grin. "I don't think he's an idiot. He just belongs in a mental health facility. Right, Prongs?"

Sirius gaped as James gave a certain nod. "Of course. Don't worry, mate, we'll make sure to send you cake and whatnot."

The girls, James, Remus and Peter laughed.

"But—but, seriously! Is she dead?"

Lily rolled her eyes and stepped towards Emmeline, rolling her over to reveal a pink face—freezing from being implanted in the snow—and closed eyes. "Calm down, Black, she just fainted."

"Right," He said with a sarcastic nod. "That's why her eyes are closed and her ears are turning _blue_. And now you're just going to happen upon an axe and take her back to the castle in pieces!"

Lily turned to Marlene and Dorcas. "Is he always this daft?"

Dorcas nodded. "Always."

…

After using levitation spells to get the sleds up the hill (Emmeline's body resting on one of them), they transfigured them back to wood and left it outside of Hagrid's cabin. Sirius, still murmuring to himself about killer women, jumped a mile when Emmeline stirred and regained conscious, before running back towards the castle and screaming "DEVIL WOMAAAAAAAAAN!"

Peter and Remus followed him to the castle, albeit much slower, laughing all the way.

"So, Evans," James said as Emmeline looked around in confusion and Marlene helped her stand. "Want to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?"

Lily's eyebrows furrowed. "Hogsmeade?"

"Yeah, the third years and up have scheduled trips to go to Hogsmeade. It's basically a little town with a lot of stores and stuff." James explained, ruffling his hair.

Lily's eyes narrowed in annoyance at the gesture, and then she frowned thoughtfully. "What? Like a date?"

James smirked. "Just like a date. I'll pay for your butterbeer and everything."

Lily gave him a small smile. "Sorry, but I've already got something set up for next weekend. Guess we're going to Hogsmeade, or whatever."

"Well, how about the weekend after that?" He asked with a frown.

"I'm busy then, too."

James shifted awkwardly, unused to being rejected three times in one day. Somehow, Lily Evans always seemed to have plans. "With who?"

"Amos Diggory. He's going to take me to see the Astronomy Tower, or something."

James' eye twitched. So she had time for other guys, but not him? _And_ she was going to a well-known make out spot?

He crossed his arms and turned away with an 'hmph!', acting vaguely like a child who hadn't gotten his favorite toy as he stomped off towards the castle.

Lily turned back towards the girls and furrowed her eyebrows. "What's his problem?"

Marlene laughed. "You can't be that oblivious!"

Lily smirked. "Oh, no, I know he's jealous or whatever, by why's he acting like a four-year-old?"

Dorcas smirked, too. "You have a lot to learn, Lily."

"Can we just get back to the castle?" Emmeline groaned. "It feels like I have a damn hangover. Without all the fun the night before."

They laughed and took off towards the castle.

…

Lily had Potions, Transfiguration, Charms and Defense with most all of the Gryffindor and Slytherin sixth years, and spent the better part of her first week teaching the Slytherin's what would happen if she heard them call her or any other muggleborns in the castle mudbloods. Her temper quickly became famous and several first and second year muggleborn girls and a few half-blood's approached her, asking how to deal with bullies. Surprised, as she'd never been directly sought after before, Lily did the best she could to help the girls. They reminded her of how she was at eleven: self-conscious, afraid and very vulnerable to others opinions of her.

The Friday before the Hogsmeade trip, three fourth-year girls, all from different houses and all often bullied, were led to Lily by Emmeline after getting into a duel with upper year Slytherin's. Alexandria was a Hufflepuff, Cassie a Gryffindor and Angela a Slytherin. Angela was sobbing and they were all bleeding; Alexandria and Cassie were both attempting to comfort the Slytherin.

"Lily," Emmeline called from just outside the dorm room. "Get the door, would you?"

Confused, Lily did just that, and upon seeing the distraught Slytherin and two other rather ragged looking-girls, she quickly opened the door further and gestured them in.

"What in Merlin's name happened?" She demanded of Emmeline, leading the girls to her bed and setting them down before removing her wand from its holster.

Alexandria had a long bloody gash from the top of her cheek to her chin and her hair was blue; Cassie had scrapes on her elbows and knees and had a severe nosebleed; Angela's previously waist-length blond hair had been hexed off to just below her ear and she was trembling uncontrollably.

"I don't know, I just found them in the hall surrounded by three seventh year Slytherin's and threatened to summon Dumbledore if they didn't leave. Angela hasn't stopped crying and the other two are bleeding. They wouldn't go to Pomfrey so I brought them here; you know some healing magic, right?" Emmeline spoke frantically, nervously eyeing the girls and looking towards Lily desperately.

"Alright, alright, just calm down." Lily said, waving her wand absently and muttering in French under her breath, casting diagnostic spells on each girl. "I need you to go get a warm blanket and – MERLIN! What the bloody hell did they do to you?"

Angela flinched away from Lily violently, and the other two girls glanced nervously at one another.

"What, Lily?" Emmeline asked worriedly, watching as Angela curled into herself and away from everyone. "What's wrong?"

Lily, pale and shaking with rage, led Emmeline to the far corner of the room.

"Em, I need you to listen very closely and do exactly as I say." Lily said, the epitome of seriousness. "Can you do that?"

Emmeline stared at Lily, confused, but nodded in agreement.

"I need you to get Dumbledore, Pomfrey and Slughorn as quickly as you can. Actually, just go to Dumbledore's office and have him summon Slughorn and Pomfrey." Seeing Emmeline look as though she'd protest, Lily shook her head. "Listen, Em, you need to do this _now_. This is really important, and I don't have time to explain."

"Lily," Emmeline said shakily. "What's going on?"

"Please, Em. Trust me, you need to go _now_."

After a moment's hesitation, Emmeline nodded and rushed out the door. Lily slowly walked back to the girls. Angela's entire frame wracked with sobs, and the other two girls looked at a complete loss as to what to do.

"What's all of your names?" She asked the girls.

"Cassie." The one with the nosebleed said, glancing meaningfully towards Angela.

"Alex," said the blue-haired girl, just as quietly, also glancing towards Angela. "She's Angela. We're all fourth-years."

Lily nodded, and waved her wand a few times. Cassie's nosebleed suddenly stopped and her several scrapes were disinfected and healed. Alexandria's hair turned back to its normal dark color and the long gash on her face disappeared into a thin scar. It took three tries to grow Angela's blonde hair back to its formal glory.

"Thanks," Both Cassie and Alexandria gasped in surprise, and Angela merely stiffened as Lily took a seat beside her.

"Girls," She said, addressing Cassie and Alexandria. "Will you please go shower and clean up? I've got some spare robes in the washroom cabinet that you can use."

The girls looked at Angela for a long moment, and then nodded as if trusting Lily enough to leave them alone. Lily only broke the silence once they had shuffled into the bathroom and she heard the click of a lock.

"Angela," she said in a soft, quiet calming tone. "Are you alright?"

"What do you think?" Angela sniffed between sobs and slowly looked up towards Lily with watery blue eyes. "I—You know what happened, right?"

Lily hesitantly nodded, and then lightly touched her shoulder.

"Angela," she said softly, her voice cracking. "Angela, what they did to you—no, listen to me—it isn't your fault."

Angela's eyes swam with tears, and she shook her head, pulling away from Lily's hand. "What do you know?"

"More than you think I might," Lily said gently. "My dad. He drunk a lot and he used to… he used to touch me."

Angela's head jerked up in shock. "W-what?"

"From when I was seven until I turned thirteen." Lily said, voice bland, as if she was talking about the weather, eyes far off. "I told my best friend what he did. I knew it was wrong, but he was my daddy—I didn't want to hurt him. She… she was a year ahead of me, and told the Headmistress of Beauxbatons. They took him to jail and my mom blamed me; I blamed me, too, for a really long time. I almost killed myself."

Tears streamed down Angela's face as she listened to Lily, eyes wide and shocked and so incredibly ashamed.

"But a girl two years ahead of me—somebody I didn't even really know—heard about it, and she offered to talk to me. As it turned out, she grew up with an abusive dad too. She... for a really long time, I didn't want to talk about. I didn't take her up on her offer for a year and a half, and even when I told her, I was so ashamed and scared of what she'd think of me."

Lily looked straight into Angela's eyes. "But it helped me, Angela. It helped me _so _much. I realized that it wasn't my fault and that talking to someone… it actually helps. Angela, I'm here for you, if you ever want to talk to me, because nobody was there for me until I was almost ready to throw my life away. And that isn't _right_."

Lily jumped in surprise as Angela threw her arms around her in a large hug, wetting her shirt with her tear and sobbing loudly. Slowly, Lily stroked her hair, trying to calm her, and gave the smallest, saddest of smiles.

"It's okay, sweetie." She whispered quietly, hugging the fifteen year old back. "It's okay. Shhh, shhhh, it's all going to be alright."

That was how Professor Dumbledore, Madam Pomfrey, Professor Slughorn and Emmeline found them ten minutes later. Angela had just barely stopped her tears and jumped at the noise of a door opening. Lily rubbed her back for a moment before pulling away.

"W-wait," stuttered Angela, earning the attention of her professors, the healer and Lily. "P-please don't go, Lily…"

Lily gave a small, reassuring smile. "Hey, don't worry, sweetie, I'll be right back. I swear."

She turned and walked towards the Headmaster purposefully, her face stern and serious. "Can we all talk privately for a moment, _sir_?"

The way she said sir should have alarmed Dumbledore at once that he'd done something wrong, but he gave her a short nod and led them out of the room.

"I'm sure Ms. Perlis shouldn't object to us using the Head Girl dormitory," Dumbledore said, leading them up a set of stairs and charming the Head Girl's room open. Emmeline, Slughorn and Pomfrey all looked very confused.

The second the gold and red door closed, Lily shot a locking and silencing charm on it before turning towards Dumbledore, positively livid.

"Tell me, _Professor_, how long have you been the Headmaster?" She demanded, eyes fierce and flaming, body shaking slightly.

"A little over eighteen years now, Miss Evans, though I'm sure you didn't call us down to ask questions?" Dumbledore responded in a calm, pleasant voice.

"Dumbledore," Lily bit out, even more annoyed by his pleasantries and calmness, and Dumbledore raised an eyebrow in surprise at being addressed in such a disrespectful way by a student. "I've been at this school for little under a month, and have been in classes for little over a week, and yet this is already the second worst environment I've _ever _lived in; the first, for your information, was with my father—yes, you remember him, I'm sure, you had me checked by a physiatrist before you let me into this craphole—"

"Language, Miss Evans!" Cried Madam Pomfrey, shocked that Lily would say such things in the presence of any professor, never the less the Headmaster.

Lily carried on, as if not hearing her. "Every corner I turn I hear another ignorant toerag calling some kid a 'mudblood' or see sixth and seventh years bullying younger years because they aren't 'pure enough' to attend Hogwarts. Now, I know that with Voldemort—" Slughorn, Emmeline and Pomfrey flinch. "—around and whatnot, tensions are high. I know that you can't be everywhere; you can't do everything, because no matter if you defeated Grindelwald or Merlin himself, you aren't unbeatable, you are only human. But, YOU BLOODY DENSE ARSE, YOU DON'T REALIZE WHEN ONE OF YOUR OWN STUDENTS IS _RAPED_? YOU DON'T REALIZE THAT _YOU_ ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR IT, BECAUSE IF YOU'D ALREADY DEALT WITH THOSE GODDAMN FUCKING DEATH-EATER RECRUITS—you shut it, it isn't a false accusation if I heard a bloody meeting with my own ears!—AND IF YOU'D DEALT WITH THE BLOODY TENSION, WOULD WE BE HERE? NO!"

Lily took a deep breath, and looked at all the shocked faces of all the rooms' occupants. "This is your fault; do you hear me, you bastard? You let a CHILD become the victim of RAPE by ANOTHER CHILD because you aren't dealing with the issues; you overlook TOO MUCH, you ignore TOO MUCH! If people get away with things without punishment, chances are they'll do it again and, WHAT, you are going to LET THEM? You can't be this dense, you old senile bafoon, damn you!"

Madam Pomfrey opened and closed her mouth like a fish, Slughorn gaped, Emmeline was so shocked she was leaning against the wall for support, and Dumbledore just stared.

Lily sighed. "You tell me that you didn't know anything about this, damn you, and you tell me _now_."

Knowing that she was already likely to be expelled, Lily didn't bother putting a stopper on her very inappropriate cursing. Dumbledore opened his mouth a few times before finally responding.

"Did you say _raped_?" He asked, voice very small, looking flabbergast and very, very old.

Lily sneered. "Did I?"

They all stared.

"Why do you think I have tears all over my shirt? Why do you think I'm so _angry_? They raped her, bloody _raped_ her," Lily looked a bit hysterical, now, with tears unexpectedly springing to her eyes and her anger making her shake. "—and they _crucio_-ed her—she can't stop shaking!—and if Cassie and Alex hadn't come up to them she could even be _dead_ right now because of… because of…" Lily was crying freely now, and waving her arms wildly, angrily. "BECAUSE OF YOU, DUMBLEDORE, THAT GIRL IS GOING TO _WANT_ TO DIE! Because… because you let it happen, she's going to…"

Emmeline rushed over to Lily and gave her a huge hug, rubbing circles on her back and trying to calm her. "Shh, Lily, shhh, it is okay."

And Lily only cried all the more, because she'd just said that all to Angela, who was now alone in her room, probably crying and feeling so dirty and just longing for numbness.

"Y-you b-b-bastards, why a-aren't you che-checking on her? I-I don't w-want her to hurt… don't le-let her hurt." Lily sobbed, and the professors stared for a long moment at the heartbreaking sight before springing into action.

"I-I'll go get some conception potions, just in case, and calming draughts." Slughorn muttered hurriedly before rushing from the room.

Pomfrey and Dumbledore, too, leapt into action, leaving a sobbing Lily and a worried Emmeline on the floor of the Head Girl's dorm.

"D-don't question her without me," Lily cried weakly to Dumbledore, trying to calm and collect herself.

"Lily," Emmeline murmured. "Lily, it's okay. They're going to help her. Shhhhh, it's alright." 


End file.
